“We’re pushing forty, you recognize,” stated certainly one of my finest associates, very matter-of-factly, once we had been celebrating my thirty-second birthday in Amsterdam.

Whereas she could have been halfheartedly joking, these phrases did stick with me, even six years later, the place I can decidedly say I’m pushing forty—with none trace of sarcasm.

Though I understand I could also be within the minority right here, I actually don’t thoughts getting older. Even after I was somewhat woman, I at all times wished to be one of many adults. I keep in mind sitting round with my dad and mom’ associates and preferring to have deep discussions with them, quite than my friends. I suppose it’s no huge shock that I’ve checked out growing old via a optimistic lens—not one stuffed with angst and remorse however one stuffed with zen-like calm and fondness.

This isn’t to say I don’t discover myself often fixated on the bodily indicators of growing old (these little pesky brow strains that Botox miraculously helps with or these random chin hairs that seemingly come from nowhere) however what I don’t fixate on is the truth that I’ve now lived greater than a 3rd of my life (if we’re assuming I make it to the ripe age of ninety) and that every one my finest days are decidedly behind me. Actually, I’d argue it’s simply the other.

With out additional ado, right here’s a brief however candy listing of all of the issues I genuinely like about getting older.

No extra FOMO

Once I was single and in my twenties, I used to be the very definition of a social butterfly—particularly in my NYC days. I stated sure to virtually each and any invitation that got here my method—even when I knew I needed to be up for work the subsequent day. As of late? I’d quite have a comfy night with associates or my husband, take pleasure in one drink, and get my eight to 9 hours of magnificence sleep.

At my age, peer stress simply isn’t a factor—and that’s such a liberating feeling. I actually don’t really feel like I’m lacking out if I resolve to say no to one thing. I merely take heed to my intestine and if it tells me to decide out, I do—no regrets. (Fortunately, when you’ve associates in an identical age vary, I’ve discovered virtually everyone seems to be cool with you saying “no” to issues, since they’ll additionally do the identical.)

Cultivated friendships

Talking of friendships, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown a hell of much more assured in my decisions, particularly in the case of my associates.

I used to assume that the extra associates I had, the higher. Growing older has helped me understand that it’s really the standard of my friendships, not the amount, that basically issues. Though I’m admittedly that one who enjoys preserving in contact with individuals who as soon as meant one thing to me (sure, this even features a few former flames), this doesn’t imply I contemplate them in my interior circle the place I share my innermost ideas and emotions.

With age, I’ve fortunately been in a position to weed out any associates who had been self-serving, unreliable, and downright poisonous. I’ve, as an alternative, consciously welcomed others who intellectually problem me, nourish my soul, and have my again after I want it most. Our time on this earth is treasured so why waste it on individuals who don’t genuinely look after you and your well-being?

It’s additionally value noting that a few of my easiest associates are ones I’ve made within the final 5 to 10 years. These friendships usually really feel extra genuine as I met them at a time in my life after I had grown into myself and change into in a position to acknowledge my strengths and weaknesses.

Self-care just isn’t egocentric care

The most effective components of getting older, I’ve discovered, is studying decelerate and admire the current. At twenty-five, I actually didn’t adhere to this. I used to be at all times chasing after the subsequent shiny factor—apprehensive that if I slowed down, the entire world would cease.

The humorous factor is, as quickly as I began to decelerate and embrace the quieter moments in life, the extra alive I felt. Taking time for “me,” whether or not that was going for a protracted stroll alone or having an impromptu spa session, abruptly didn’t really feel egocentric—it felt selfless.

I might not be excellent at self-care however age has taught me it’s so vital to apply. Doing so means you present up to your companion, your friendships, your job, and most significantly—your self.

And though Bette Davis as soon as famously stated, “Getting outdated ain’t for sissies,” I do assume there’s a sure grace and humility that comes from growing old—a realization that you just don’t have all of it found out, and that’s OK. You’re way more snug with who you’re as a human being that it makes life all of the extra value dwelling.